Today we had Thanksgiving. Yes it is only November 19th. Yes, thanksgiving really is the 24th. But I tell you, we had it.
Not everyone could be here today, but we took the opportunity of my sister and her husband traveling through Seattle to have thanksgiving a little early.
Nearly everyone forgot at one time or another this week that it really wasn’t thanksgiving. It was just Saturday November 19th. But what a Saturday it was.
As we were leaving it hit me. Every time my family gets together like this, it feels like a holiday. It doesn’t matter the reason why we get together. Getting together feels like a celebration. It felt good to be together. To perform the rituals that bring us peace and comfort.
We ate, laughed, played games,and laughed again. It was fun to watch my newphew who is just as competitive and funny as my brother.
And we missed him. Missed him so terribly.
Last year at Thanksgiving I was thankful for knowing. Knowing my brother was going to die gave me the chance to spend more time with him. To learn about him, to appreciate him more. I learned more about myself as well.
I do believe knowledge is power. So why do I feel so powerless? Powerless to make him better, powerless to stop the tears. The grief has a much power over me today as it did months ago.
This year I am thankful for laughter and for my family.